Notes on Notes on Computers

18 January 2017

I'm part of the minority of students in the HFAC (Harrison Fine Arts Center, the arts-and-crafts building on BYU campus) that actually doesn't have a Mac. I use a Surface Pro, and I love it. I'm a PC person. There, I said it.

I know, I know that doesn't make me special or anything, I just wanted to say that to build some sort of ethos when I add my testimony to that of the author of the article about why taking notes on a computer is not as good as taking notes freehand, because if people know that I'm a PC person, they're more likely to assume that I don't also don't pull up apps like Messaging or Messenger on my Mac while I'm in class, since those are way harder to do conspicuously on a Surface.

Anyways, yes, I do believe that note-taking on a computer is both less efficient and less engaging than handwriting. Not only because there is the element of "that thing" about handwriting, that physical, tangible, fingers-moving-a-pen thing that cements the material into your brain as you write, but also logistically, because of the way a pen or pencil can use the free space on a page.

If I have Microsoft Word out, I take advantage of the Tab function, and of bullet points, and of italics or bold or underline, or sometimes all three, but after cycling through the functions enough times, the cycles lose the sense of patterns. With a pencil, I may not be able to italicize as well, but I can use fonts, I can circle important things after the fact, I can add sweeping arrows, side notes, bubbles, clouds, stars, hearts, and any sort of pattern of organization that engages my brain in a way that not only cements the knowledge I'm taking note of, but also, I'm forcing myself to anticipate and organize my thoughts conceptually with what the professor is saying, immediately and concurrently.

The previously mentioned article discusses a study that briefly explored this idea. In the study, half of the subjects were instructed to take notes on a laptop, and the other on paper. By the time of the test, "those who wrote out their notes by hand had a stronger conceptual understanding and were more successful in applying and integrating the material than those who used took notes with their laptops." 

I would, though, be interested to know what other students think. There are many arguments in favor of taking notes, and several of them hold a lot of weight--to me, the most persuasive one is that anything written and saved on a computer can be pulled up at any time. Copy and paste is also fantastic. Even still, to me, nothing beats a good ol' pen and paper.

Fireside Chat

This idea kind of took on a life of its own. The belief I chose to present was that of how I think our culture’s focus on modest is hypocritical, but my final presentation encompassed a great deal more than just that one belief.

I knew I wanted to do a live presentation; there is something about the realness, the impromptu-ness, the live reaction-ness, that you can’t replicate with other mediums. A scene, with actors and costumes and props, was necessary for what I wanted to portray -- which was, as I came to realize only after rewriting my script with my 10 year old co-star, that beautiful, terrifying, deciding conversation between an LDS mother and her prepubescent daughter about modesty.

There were things I knew had to be included: the passive-aggression in the mother’s tone, the ignorance towards body image health, the incorrect and absurd reference to general conference talks. Those lines, along with the idea of the Mom applying ridiculous materials to her face and body as extreme makeup, made up the backbone We added in Barbara and the “I hate school” and other, more frivolous moments as character development much later on.

So, with all of the above formally delineated, Charlotte (my cousin, the 10 year old acting prodigy) and I created a scene almost too quickly. We basically scrapped my script and went off of what we knew to be familiar, and what we thought would be funny. Because yes, we thought it was funny. Perhaps I gave my humour too much credit, but I legitimately believed that audience members would be rolling on the floor, in tears, for laughing so hard.

But it’s not funny. Far from it. As my mom said over the phone, after I called and related the premise of the scene, “It’s heavy.” By quoting Sister Dalton, and using a line about “feeling the Spirit”, I not only poked fun at silly LDS culture phenomenon -- I attacked the entire Church. It was personal. And that...isn’t very funny, when considering the gravity of my fight. I mean, there is a reason why no one in the Nelke laughed. People don’t question it, but I did.

And, you know what, I’m not going to apologize for that.

I think I’m right. I think t is so incredibly hypocritical for us to sigh and waggle our manicured fingers at kids -- not only kids, but anyone not looking the part -- and criticize their faith, their character for being “immodest”, and in the same sentence, walk into the plastic surgeon for a third breast enhancement, or the tanning lounge, or the hair salon for the fourth time that month. Absurd. There is no contesting that. Absolutely, I’m right. Especially when those moms and dads and church leaders are in the midst of a prescription drug crisis. No, I’m not saying that legitimate illnesses like anxiety and depression are the Church’s fault; what I’m saying, is that if the cycle continues, those little girls who are told to be brave and look modest else they catalyze pornography and sexual assault will grow up to be just as self-conscious and uncomfortable and messed up as their mothers, and will then proceed to condemn their own daughters to the same fate.

I would go further to explain -- as I hinted at in my presentation -- that it is equally absurd for us to discuss matters of modesty as the sole responsibility of women. Rather than reinforce rape culture and teach women how to cover up their bodies for the sake of preserving their virtue or whatever the hell that means, why aren’t we teaching both girls and boys of the power and ability of their bodies as vehicles for good? It’s not that hard. Here, lemme ‘splain:

Instead of, “Hey, would you mind putting on a jacket? Your shoulders are just, you know…”

Try, “Isn’t this summer sun so beautiful? Let’s go for a walk!”

Or, “Wow, I love that band! That tank top is awesome! Do you play?”

Or even, “I hate wearing tank-tops because I have horrible back-acne, but you can wear whatever you want”

Or literally anything other than, “You should cover your shoulders so that boy over there doesn’t rape you.”

And I’m not even trying to be funny. Because it’s not funny. It’s heavy. It's absurd that it is, but it is nonetheless.

Moral of the story? You pick. Pick one thing out of that loaded skit and tear it apart, criticize it, love it, preach it, but please, please talk about it. Maybe someday, it won't be so heavy.

Concerned Citizen

In 2015, an estimated 60,200 cases of non-invasive carcinoma – the “earliest form of breast cancer” -- and over 231,800 cases of invasive carcinoma were diagnosed in America. And it is estimated that both of those numbers will only rise for 2016. That’s about one of every eight American women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer at some point in their lives¹.

For women, breast cancer has proven to be one of the most lethal of diagnoses, as it is the second-most common cancerous diagnosis among American women, other than skin cancer, and has higher death rates than any other cancer besides lung cancer. Ultimately, this meant that even though death rates amongst breast cancer patients have been decreasing since the late 1980’s – when awareness first began spreading like wildfire – approximately 40,000 women died of breast cancer in 2015². That’s like the entire population of Brigham Young University, including students, staff, and faculty³.

Thankfully, the waves of breast cancer awareness have done a lot to help fight the cancer, both here in the US, and abroad. Campaigns in bright pink have spread across first-world nations rapidly over the past few decades, largely through independent, nonprofit organizations⁴. One of the most local was started through a survivor herself, Ms. Becky.

Becky, with the help of her sister, Brenda, and best friend, Denise, has been able to not only defeat her own diagnosis of cancer, but come to the aid of hundreds of others⁵. The three of them got the bug for advocacy when Becky first started undergoing treatments, and in one fell swoop, rose over $30,000 for her medical bills. Their success triggered the idea to start the Anything For A Friend charity. Since early 2010, Anything For A Friend has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars and has sponsored dozens of friends, family, and strangers, inciting the support of local TV stations, marathons, universities, newspapers, and politicians all across the state of Utah⁵.

This was one of those cool stories about some of those cool people who “get off their couches” and go out and do things. This isn’t some bake sale to help the fourth grade class fund a field trip to the science museum; this has saved lives. We thought Becky was more concerned about her society than most people we know, and, further, has positively affected it on a grand scale.

It is amazing, first of all, that Becky and the trio had the drive and the guts to start something -- especially since Becky herself, is a survivor. It is equally amazing, however, that it is through small, self-motivated, nonprofit funds like Anything For A Friend that do the majority of the advocacy work. Sure, they get some tax deductions⁶. But even then, the money they save from their tax returns typically goes straight into the blogs of the people they are sponsoring. It made us curious; why do they have to pull the cart and push it, too? Isn’t there that whole pink bracelet thing? Why isn’t that enough?

A Google search of “breast cancer awareness” pulls up over 8 million results. All of them are either a) links to heavily-advertised prescription medication websites, b) informational self-diagnosis or Wiki-How sites, or c) nonprofit blogs. Turns out, Anything For A Friend is only one in a million. The National Breast Cancer Foundation (the “big one”, with all the pink stuff), apparently, is only a minor ally in the fight against breast cancer⁷. This would be like if everyone at BYU (the ones who originally died) started their own individual charities for themselves, relied on their blogs to be successful, didn’t die, and then turned around and used their charity blogs to support and sustain the other 200k people also diagnosed and struggling to afford therapies every year. All without any pink bracelets³.

We wanted to hear, from her own voice, her thoughts on all of this. What was it like fighting cancer yourself? What were you thinking when you started this organization? What has been the hardest thing about sponsoring it? Was there ever a time when you were inspired by one of the patients you helped fund?

Her voice, as we anticipated, is amazing. We thought it would be powerful to make an audio piece, highlighting her amazing voice as part of the crowd of people in similar situations as her who are doing the amazing things that she is doing of their own initiative. It is her voice, combined with the efforts and voices of the 8 million others like her, that have made the difference for the survivors.

Hear what she had to tell us. 

1. "Infographics." Cancer. N.p., 01 Jan. 0001. Web. 29 Mar. 2016.

2. "U.S. Breast Cancer Statistics | Breastcancer.org." Breastcancer.org. N.p., n.d. Web. 29 Mar. 2016.

3. Forbes. Forbes Magazine, n.d. Web. 29 Mar. 2016.

4. "Models Of Courage." Models of Courage. N.p., n.d. Web. 29 Mar. 2016.

5. "Mission." Anything For A Friend. N.p., n.d. Web. 29 Mar. 2016. <http://www.anythingforafriend.com/about-us>.

6. Existing Organizations. IRS, n.d. Web. 28 Mar. 2016. <https://www.stayexempt.irs.gov/Existing-Organizations),>.

7. “About Breast Cancer :: The National Breast Cancer Foundation.” Www.nationalbreastcancer.org. N.p., n.d. Web 29 Mar. 2016. http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/about-breast-cancer.

Eat

TW/CW: Eating disorders, mention of "struggles", "calories", hospitalization, panic/fear

I was a Resident Assistant last year, at Helaman Halls. I ran full force into the lives and dramas of about forty teenage women, and – though I adored all of them, fiercely – quickly learned that I was vastly out of my league in terms of training and counseling. Several of “my girls” lived with crippling anxiety, several more had varying diagnoses of depression, some dealt with sexuality, personality, or bodily dysphoria, a couple struggled with addictions, and still others fought eating disorders. I was mostly able to sympathize with all of these girls and their struggles, but I had no idea how to help those with eating disorders. I’d had a basic, definition-based understanding of what eating disorders were; I’d learned about their symptoms and consequences in grade school, and some red flags were evident even within my own home. However, I had no idea where to step in terms of conversation or application; I knew, especially with eating disorders, that there were definite “Do Say This” and equally definite “Do NOT Say That”, and I didn’t want to step on any landmines.

I consistently turned to my manager and professors for help, and, of course, always directed the girls to their counselors or doctors first and foremost. I researched as much as I could about their respective disorders, but I still had a hard time differentiating between what would be safe to talk about, and what was dangerous.

My goal with this exercise was, without any badge of “authority” or any other reason for feeling removed, to wholly place myself in the shoes of these girls and their lives. How did their disorders affect their day-to-day lives? What did their interactions look like between them and their friends or family? How do these reactions differ even amongst themselves? How much of how they behaved was their personality speaking, and how much of it was their disorder…even in pleasant or benign conversation?

Aesthetically, I wanted this game to read as bluntly as a disorder is. According to my research, most people currently living with an eating disorder either deny that they have it, or have no idea that they have it in the first place. An eating disorder is direct; there is no “indirect” or passive consequence. And so, the thoughts of someone living with a disorder – specifically, someone who did not know or, or denied this disorder – would be direct, aggressive, straightforward. Going through the passages of the game and having to constantly readdress the plaguing thoughts of eating and body appearance and health is exhausting, and I wanted to incorporate that, too. Some of the passages loop within each other, trapping the player in an endless, relentless, and terrifying cycle of mental instability and panic.

A third and final focus I put into this game was that I didn’t restrain myself to only one eating disorder. The three biggies, as most people know, are Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and Binge Eating Disorder, but there are plenty of others. I deliberately linked the passages so that, no matter what hyperlink the player chose, they ended up with some eating disorder. Hopefully, the player emerges from the game with an increased awareness and respect for those dealing with an eating disorder.

Citation:

http://www.eatingdisordersonline.com/explain/index.php

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders-new-trifold/index.shtml

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/signs-of-eating-disorders

Game: Eat

(If that doesn't work, copy and paste either of these into a new Window)
file:///C:/Users/Maddy/Downloads/Eat.html
http://twinery.org/2/#stories/b5a9f7dc-75c3-33cd-5f70-c0741bfae699/play

*Trigger Warning/Content Warning

The Mask You Live In

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that BYU was hosting a screening of this documentary, and even more so that so many people showed up. The entire Varsity Theater in the Wilk was full -- I sat on the floor!

The documentary was...as expected. I'm thrilled about the progress of the dialogue about the harmful effects of masculinity, but I'm not satisfied just yet. As one subject in the film stated, it's wonderful that we're even talking about masculinity as anything other than the ideal, but we've still got a lot of work to do.

The sister film, Miss Representation, does a little more work than The Mask You Live In, I think. Perhaps that is because I am female...but then again, perhaps that bias is even more validating in my frustration. I walked out of the movie theater with a handful of peanut butter cookies (courtesy of the BYU Men's Studies Research dept.) and strut back to my apartment, where I spilled the good news to my roommates that the world is evolving, times are getting better, and people are finally getting it.

They didn't miss a beat; one sighed and walked away, while the other calmly explained to me that it is relatively pathetic that we need to be explaining to the men why these issues of gender affect them, too, in order for them to be interested. She also explained to me how it is also frustrating that we, women, are asked to give men any sympathy for the struggles they face (not being able to cry in public, etc.) when they, themselves, are the ultimate perpetrators. My shoulders slumped further and further as she continued to rant about how as much as men suffer for their own aggressiveness and idolizing hyper-masculinity, women will suffer tenfold by the same hands. The documentary touched on this, briefly, but still focuses on how sad it is that boys are emotionally stunted, rather than how many people end up victim to the charade of masculinity and the patriarchy.

Again, I am relieved that this conversation is happening. And, truly, I would say the film is successful if, for no other reason, because it sparks dialogue. But, as my roommate so clearly explained to me, this is frustrating. We need so much more than an acceptance of men's emotions; we need equal pay, we need to end rape culture, we need to rearrange sex education in schools, we need to do a lot of things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc45-ptHMxo

A World of Sound

What if...we could see music?

Our original idea stemmed from this question, but we came across several challenges. If people can see music, then they can see all types of sounds. And if people can see all types of sounds, then they would always be hearing something. And if they are hearing everything at all times, then their other senses would be overloaded, and essentially useless. So, we decided, rather than "seeing music", what if, in this world, people "saw" through sound?

Freeway

The freeway is one of the noisiest parts of first-world civilization. Cars race past each other at speeds ranging between 55-100 miles per hour, if we’re being honest. It is also an environment where sight is critical; you need to see the road, the other cars, the environment, the buttons of the radio, the wheel, your passengers, the gas tank, the speedometer, which exit to get off of...

So, how would a freeway look in a world without visuals?

My first answer would be that freeways, if they existed at all, would ultimately function off of sonic interdependence. “Cars” would feel their way from point A to point B similar to how bats fly, by detecting the vibrating sound waves of the traffic around them. I tried to keep in mind that while sounds travel across time and space, someone who understood the world through sound would most likely have trained their focus so that the average person in this world would only be registering a specific radius of noises. I used hue and value to try to visually represent this range of focus; the brighter and thicker the color, the more “in focus”. There are tiny, dark, thinner and fading audial marks for probable objects emitting sounds, including the electricity flowing under the roads or the rustling of leaves in trees.

Band Poster

Another aspect of a world where sounds are seen that was considered for this project was live musical performances. To represent what an event like this would be like, we designed a poster for a real life band, STRFKR. Because music itself is the conglomeration of many different sounds layered on top of each other, I decided to represent this by using photoshop to manipulate a pre-existing logo for the band rather than use waveforms. I found that by selecting and deleting portions of the image, and telling photoshop to replace those deleted portions using a “content aware” algorithm, that the geometric shapes forming the original logo created a unique pattern that could represent the sights one would experience in this world. I found this to be appropriate since the band’s identity is not only defined by its music but also its logo- and who’s to say that in a world where one can see music that the music being seen can be visually distinct according to the band it originates from?  I also took into consideration that STRFKR’s live shows already use many different lasers and lights that correspond with the music, and by using a photograph of them where this is evident I feel that I bridged the gap from our imaginary world with the real one.

"Eye Phones"

My first thought when presented with this world was “what would become of headphones?” The concept was cool and really to me everything that emitted music and sound took on a new light. In my piece I thought I would convey this through a popular method we see in our own world, the Youtube sensation of unboxing a new tech item and then reviewing it. This is seen all over the web and can often be comical and in some cases it showboats over analysis of items. Using terminology like “watching music” and “I am sure you have (literally) seen this song” serve to further build up this world in which people see music. The cell phone footage, cheesy after effects intro, and plea at the end to subscribe all showcase the growing trend of technology in everyday life. If one was to watch music than, instead of listen to it, how would that effect things like this? My hope is that I was able to capture that in this small video.

Music Box

If I had to spend a week wherein I had to rely solely on one of my five senses, it would be my vision. Reading, driving a car, riding a bicycle, recognizing friends and family, locating food; these are all activities that I accomplish with my eyes (and the visual processing part of my noggin).

In the world we created, the eyes are not the primary sensory organ. The inhabitants of this society rely primarily on their ears to navigate their world and accomplish their daily tasks. These people react to sound waves similarly to the way in which humanity process light waves. Their brains are capable of processing sound waves in such a way that sound is translated into colorful imagery and detailed landscapes.

My question was, “how do these folk have any kind of recorded language”? Because they do not use their eyes in the same way that we do, I decided that a hand-written hieroglyphic language would be unsuitable. I also decided that a form of braille would not be the right way to go either. These people would want a form of recorded language that interacts with their most intricate sense AKA their synesthetic sense of hearing.

So I came up with a sort of music box. The music box has a hand-powered crank that can be turned at the user’s pace, much like turning the pages of a book. The crank simultaneously gives the “music box” book a source of power, and also controls the rate of playback. With each full turn of the crank, a certain amount of sound waves are emitted. These sound waves are processed  by the brain of the user, not only as sounds, but also images and colors. The resulting “reading” experience is deep and interactive.

I used a crank because I thought it would be impractical to have a “music box” book that required re-charging of any kind. Can you imagine a library full of books that need to have energy sources replaced? It would be terrible. But the crank? A little more practical.

Here's a video containing footage of the "music box" book.

Hannah Montana Vs. Miley Cyrus Webspinna

Our original idea of battling an extrovert with an introvert morphed through several phases before we decided on Miley Cyrus vs. Hannah Montana. The catalyst for our idea was actually Taylor Swift, who we’d talked about having “changed” over time. Swift’s first albums fall under the Country music category, with a lot of acoustic guitar and sappy, youthful, romantic verse. Now, with her new, short, straight hair cut and long list of ex-boyfriends, she sings and performs rebellious pop and

Miley Cyrus transformed even more dramatically, and we couldn't pass up the opportunity to comment on the wildness of her evolution. Her career began on Disney Channel, of all places, and quickly became one of America’s sweethearts. She even performed across the pond, for Queen Elizabeth herself. And, of course, now she is known mostly for her nude videos and preference for cannabis.

Because we were originally thinking of the differences between extroverts and introverts, and then pre-1984 Taylor Swift versus post, our ideas on posing one Miley against the other began sort of skewed; we focused on the negative, satirical  humor of her defamation, and the audio we chose adhered to that. As we progressed with our narrative, however, we realized that it was much more interesting to think about how Miley has been the same person throughout all of her career. She has always had a strong character and, for some unquantifiable reason, an entertaining personality -- which we tried to emulate in our performance – and we felt that the most powerful story we could try to capture of her would be of the commonalities in her career. We tried to focus on her own reconciliation of what she used to resemble and what she resembles today.